Wow...so I've been reflecting a lot on life lately, and I intend to do it a lot more over the next month. I look at how far I have come and how much I have changed and grown over this past year and five months living in Korea. I honestly cannot remember a time WITHOUT the memories and experiences I have had here. What was life like before Korea? What was life like before living overseas? It's a lot like the same questions I asked after taking the Perspectives course. What was life like before my eyes were opened to the actual story of God's glory and His plan and desire for the nations?
In addition, I think about relationships. I think about and miss my friends back in the USA so much. I miss the "simplicity" and "routine" of life in Springfield. I miss drinking wine, eating delicious home-cooked food, and watching movies with my aunties Evelyn and Clara. I miss having my friends all live within a 20 minute radius. I miss having friends over, sharing in fellowship and Bible study, Thursday night dinners with Destiny and Jenn, Refresh and the amazing youth, weekend Latin dancing with all my ladies (you all know who you are!), and spontaneous road trips. I miss all of my international friends from around the world, and I miss that I am missing meeting so many new ones. I miss the smell of Fall, and the warmth of family and friends and cuddling up in the cold winters.
.....and that is just to name a few.
But I don't want to get you down by this post either. Although I DO miss all of these things, I would not wish my life to be anything other than what it is. I would not trade coming to Korea for anything in the world. I have met SO many wonderful teachers, students, friends, and people I now consider family. I have had the opportunity to teach English and music half-way across the world and gain amazing experience with students of all levels. I have gone on numerous adventures in and around Korea, and I have been able to go with an amazing group of friends to the Philippines to work with a terrific organization/family at an orphanage. In addition to all of that, I am learning Korean, and I am now at the intermediate level and able to carry out most daily conversations. It has not been an easy task living overseas for the first time (and I am sure it will still be hard no matter how long I live abroad), and it has definitely had its challenges, but it has brought me to a completely different place in my faith, in my character, and in my spirit.
As I have to say "see you later" (I refuse to say it is "farewell") to some of my new friends from Seoul, it makes me think again about relationships. Friendships formed while traveling seem so temporary: people are here for a few months, a year, a few years...or you yourself are only in one place that long. It's living life in a constant state of transition, and it's wearing on one's heart to have to see so many people come and go and not having that "constant" friend nearby like with live back home. I've talked about it with some of my friends here, and we all seem to come to the same consensus: relationships formed overseas and while traveling are unlike any sort of relationship one will ever have.
When we are children and our friends move away or we move away from our friends, we always promise to "write each other every day" and call each other "all the time" (although in this day and age, I guess this would change to "Facebook" and "text") and "never forget each other" because "we will always be best friends, and no one can replace that." Although I don't think the memories of our close childhood friendships will ever leave, the letters do...and the calls become far and few in between. Slowly we drift apart and form new friendships and make "new" best friends. But...unlike the childhood relationships or even adult relationships at home, the relationships formed overseas are something unique and unlike anything else.
I will admit that Facebook plays a HUGE role in things. I am able to still "feel" like I know what is going on in someone's life (even when we are thousands of miles apart) by reading Facebook statuses and seeing pictures pop up on my Newsfeed of recent adventures. BUT....even in spite of Facebook, the friendships are different. I could write a whole post about the crazy encounters with strangers that turned into lifelong friendships. Whether it is running into another English teacher from Korea on the Japanese subway in Fukuoka who just HAPPENS to also be a Christian flute major (ahaha, I know, right?!) trying to renew her visa....or sitting outside of the ski resort in Korea after winning some free ramyeon and chatting it up with a couple visiting from Malaysia ...and then proceeding to make plans to visit them in the future and exchanging contact info.....to any number of encounters like these.
One thing that life NEVER is overseas is BORING. Although we have to trade that life of "simplicity" or "routine" or "comfortable" for something crazy and unpredictable and often uncomfortable or unfamiliar (don't get me wrong....I know that life in the USA can DEFINITELY be far from simple or routine or comfortable!), the incomparable adventure offered far surpasses it all.
And...even though I long to be reunited with my family and friends, my heart cries for more adventure. I have found what awakens my heart to desire. I desire to see the world: to learn about it, to experience it, to take in the beauty of nature, of culture, of peoples, of music and dance, and ultimately--the beauty of a world created by God for His glory.
John Eldredge, in his book Journey of Desire, offers great insight into this idea of desire, and I will end by sharing a few passages here with you:
“Worship is the act of the abandoned heart adoring its God.”
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"We abandon the most important journey of our lives when we abandon desire. We leave our hearts by the side of the road and head off in the direction of fitting in, getting by, being productive, what have you. Whatever it might gain--money, position, the approval of others, or just absence of the discontent itself--it's not worth it."
~~~
"We are desire. It is the essence of
the human soul, the secret of our existence. Absolutely nothing of human
greatness is ever accomplished without it. Not a symphony has been
written, a mountain climbed, an injustice fought, or a love sustained
apart from desire. Desire fuels our search for the life we prize. Our
desire, if we will listen to it, will save us from committing
soul-suicide, the sacrifice of our hearts on the altar of 'getting by.'
The same old thing is not enough. It never will be."
~~~
"Desire, both the whispers and the shouts, is the map we have been given to find the only life worth living."
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